As adults across the world react to the outcome of the United States presidential election, their stories often take the spotlight. But parents need to keep an eye out for little eyes and little ears.
Kids will often hear and understand more than adults give them credit for and with the prevalence of social media, kids have access to more information than ever. But not all of that information is designed for them.
Baltimore’s Child spoke with Kristi Phillips, a psychologist at the child and family therapy clinic at Kennedy Krieger Institute to learn how parents can help children process information and emotions about the election.
Phillips says she’s seen more children with concerns regarding the recent U.S. presidential election.
“Some kids are feeling really happy with the outcome of the election and some kids are feeling quite upset about it, reporting feeling sad or anxious or even a little angry about the outcome,” Phillips says.*
What should parents keep in mind before talking to their children about the election?
What’s really important for parents to consider is being able to share information with their kids in a way that they’re going to understand it. Parents need to know where their child is developmentally and provide information that is appropriate for that level.
Some kids who are younger might just want to understand the process of the election and what it means for somebody to vote and how we all have a voice to be able to do that as adults, or how there is somebody who wins the election and what that means.
Teenagers may have more questions and really want to understand the reasons that people are voting a certain way and what sort of things are important to them as a voter.
How can parents know what is age-appropriate for their child?
They should start by seeing what their child has heard. Parents should consider what information their child comes into contact with and where. Kids can get information at school, online, on the bus or even in their neighborhood.
Find out what that information is, see what is correct information and what is not correct and help modify that for their child.
How can parents know how much exposure kids are getting to election content on social media?
Kids are getting more exposure to election content than parents sometimes realize. I’ve been talking with a lot of different families about ways that they’re getting information, and sometimes they’re getting things on TikTok or doomscrolling across different media sites. They’re looking at different news sources and getting a lot more information than sometimes parents see.
That can lead to some distress, some anxiety, some frustration—whatever feelings they might be having as a result. It’s really important for parents to be asking their kids about how frequently they’re getting online, what they’re accessing and how much information they’re getting.
How can parents encourage their kids to verify what they’re seeing or come to them if they’re not sure about something?
Parents should open that conversation with their child. Opening the door for their child to be able to talk to them about how they’re feeling can be really valuable and let them know that any emotion they’re having is valid.
What can parents do to teach their kids about respectful disagreement?
It’s really about helping kids understand that people are going to have different opinions than them and that is OK. It’s alright to disagree on topics. We just want to make sure that we’re doing it in a way that doesn’t create conflict. We want to make sure that we’re teaching our kids to listen in a way that is non-judgmental, to use a tone that doesn’t create or promote conflict so that they are able to have conversations with peers even if they feel like their opinion is different than theirs.
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Why is it important to teach children about respectful disagreement?
It’s something that they’re going to be using for the rest of their life. Being able to use an appropriate tone and communicate in a way that feels supportive and respectful will help them in the long run with other social interactions throughout life. Parents can teach this skill early by not just teaching it to their child but also by modeling its use at home.
They can sit down and have conversations with their kids and let their child talk about some of the things that they’re experiencing—not just about the election. Parents can let their child know that they are here to hear what they have to say without creating a space
that feels judgmental to them and actively listen to what the child is saying without interrupting them before figuring out how to help them or support them and what they need.
How can parents support their children if their children are finding difficulty in engaging in respectful disagreement or situations where the other person isn’t seeking respectful disagreement?
Parents can let their child know that it’s OK to sometimes take a break from that conversation. We don’t always have to engage in a conversation that’s not feeling productive, kind or respectful. We can set limits by saying, ‘You know, I’m going to take a break, I’m going to my room or I’m going to do something that feels good to me right now,’ and then come back to a conversation.
If parents feel like their child is in some way creating conflict with another child, they can help their child learn socially appropriate skills like apologies and [let] them practice giving an apology to another child.
How can parents who are navigating their own feelings around the election avoid passing their feelings about it to their children?
That’s a really important piece here because we do see that any sort of anxiety or emotional upset that parents are feeling is oftentimes transferred to their child in some way. It’s OK for parents to say, ‘You know, I am having this feeling right now, and here’s what it looks like right now—my face looks like this, my body feels like this, my voice sounds like this because I’m feeling this way.’
That’s a great model for their child to be able to do the same thing when they’re experiencing an emotion that doesn’t feel good to them, and then it also opens the door for parents to say, ‘I’m gonna do this now to try to help myself. I’m going to go outside and go for a walk, or we’re going to play a game together.’
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*Some responses have been edited for length and clarity.
