When I found out my spirited 4-year-old son Zeke needed glasses at a routine doctor’s appointment, I immediately started my campaign to hype him up about how cool glasses are and how much fun it will be to pick out frames. He was not convinced. We borrowed every children’s book from the library we could about glasses. The problem was they all centered around the theme of not being able to see and how glasses magically solved the problem. “I can see,” he’d repeatedly tell my husband and me. The books didn’t resonate with him at all.
I realized that at 4, the way he sees is all he’s ever known. Of course he thought he could see! Honestly, so did I. This was a kid who pointed out all the different types of vehicles as we drove along the highway, easily recognized objects and never appeared to squint or strain. In his preschool program, learning is play. He wasn’t expected to read a chalkboard from a distance, accomplish highly precise tasks or struggle to complete schoolwork. Why would he be eager to wear glasses to fix a “problem” he didn’t think he had? I had to change my strategy and try to build a little acceptance so that he wouldn’t immediately snub the glasses when they arrived, which I fully expected him to do.
One night before bed, he told me he felt sad about needing glasses because he was worried “people won’t know it’s Zeke when I wear them.” I reminded him of all the people we know who wear glasses. We recognize them easily, and it’s no big deal—just an extra accessory. Even his dad wears glasses!
I decided to write a book for him, “Zeke’s New Glasses,” featuring photos of our family, friends and neighbors wearing their glasses. I thought seeing so many familiar faces and having some silly rhymes would get him laughing and make the topic of glasses less daunting for him. I created the book online and had it printed and mailed to us. It included 35 family members, friends and characters wearing their glasses.
“Zeke has new glasses.
Daddy wears them too.
Amanda and Mark have glasses,
and they’re just a few.”
I found photos online of some things he likes and included them, too.
“Glasses help your eyes so you can see the world clearly.
Firefighters, construction workers and truck drivers wear them and get a checkup yearly.”
I ended the book with some words I was hoping would quell the biggest worry he expressed—that no one would know it was him behind his new frames.
“Wearing glasses is no big deal. We promise. It’s true.
Your glasses just make you the best version of YOU.
You’re still the same Zeke, and everyone can agree.
Zeke is kind, silly and smart, and now he can see.”
When Zeke’s glasses arrived, he was more interested in them than I expected. He tried them on and kept them on for a bit. Every day afterward he wore them for longer chunks of time. Progress! About a week in, I heard him get up in the morning. I peeked on my phone at the camera we have in his room. I saw him get out of bed, pick up his glasses, put them on himself and grab the book before settling into his big chair. He looked at the cover and “read” aloud “Zeke’s New Glasses” and began to flip through the pages. We’re now a few months in, over that initial trepidation, and he recognizes the glasses help him. He happily wears them every day.
As parents, we always want to protect our kids from hard things, but children learn resilience by facing adversity and working past it. To a 4-year-old, glasses feel big! I’ve actually enjoyed navigating this parenting test. It taught both me and my son the value of acknowledging an unavoidable life challenge—and there will be many, as we all know—and finding a way to creatively tackle it together.
Dana Cohen is a communications professional who lives in Towson with her husband, Michael, and their two kids, Zeke and Thea. She can be reached by email at [email protected] for any inquiries.
