For people with “invisible disabilities,” life can feel like a long series of decisions to disclose or not to disclose.
Kids with nonapparent disabilities start making the decision to tell or not tell people about their disability from a young age. The first place they usually navigate this is at school with their teachers, other education professionals and friends.
Not all children with disabilities require an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), a document developed to outline the student’s educational needs, supports and services. However, your child’s student-teacher relationship might still benefit from shared knowledge about the challenges your child faces.
The decision to disclose their disability should belong to the child whenever possible, but for children who are too young, it may be up to the parents.
Here are a few things to keep in mind when choosing to disclose a disability to
an educator:
What are the benefits of disclosing?
The benefits of disclosing a disability depend on how that disability affects daily life. If your child takes instructions very literally, for example, it might help their teacher to know that so they can adapt their instructions and avoid confusion and frustration. If your child has a tendency to try to push past their physical limits (or not know what their physical limits are), it might be wise to have a quick conversation with the gym teacher about the things you look out for as a parent.
Disclosure can also be beneficial if your child has a lesser-known disability or condition. If you are disclosing for this reason, be sure to include some basics to help the teacher understand and know where they might find more information about the disability or condition online.
By letting an educator know there are differences in what your child can do compared to their peers, you give that educator the opportunity to adapt, understand and better support your child.
Beyond personal benefits, your child choosing to disclose their disability might help other kids, too, by decreasing the stigma around their condition and leading educators to approach certain situations with a more open mind.
Are there any drawbacks to disclosing?
Unfortunately, your child won’t always face an ideal situation when disclosing a disability. Some teachers could treat your child differently by restricting them too much—assuming they can’t do something that could be challenging to do. Because of this, it’s best to consider whether the benefits of disclosing are significant enough to outweigh the risks.
It’s important to know that choosing not to disclose could negatively impact your child. Not telling an educator would mean they don’t know and might be unprepared when a situation related to your child’s disability arises.
If your child needs support in the classroom that is not being provided, it is time to pursue an IEP or 504 plan.
When should disclosure happen?
Waiting until you’re certain it’s necessary to disclose, or until you know your child’s educator better, is reasonable. However, with some disabilities like autism that can cause social differences, it may be best to get out ahead of any misunderstandings by having a quick conversation at the beginning of the year or when your child has a new educator.
How should disclosure happen?
There’s no one-size-fits-all to telling an educator about a disability. How you and your child talk about it will depend on their age and understanding of the disability. Some parents choose to meet with the teacher for a few minutes at the beginning of the year and discuss it verbally. Some send an email or a note.
If you’re looking to give your child more independence and control over disclosure, try sending them to school with a notecard that has bullet points about what they might want to tell their teacher.
What you or your child say in the disclosure will depend on what your goal is. Think about what you want to happen as a result of the disclosure and what information might help the educator interact with and teach your child in a way that works better for both teacher and student.
*A note about the author: This author has a disability and is familiar with the lived experience of explaining that disability each year, across multiple classes.
