Fatherhood often comes with a heavy expectation for dads to be strong no matter what, but dads need support, too—especially when circumstances fall outside the norm.
The Special Fathers Network (SFN), founded by David Hirsch, supports fathers raising children with disabilities. The program is part of the 21st Century Dads Foundation, a nonprofit dedicated to combatting father absence.
Hirsch, who was raised by a single mother, is an advocate for father involvement. The Chicago-born father of five founded the Illinois Fatherhood Initiative, which was the country’s first statewide nonprofit fatherhood organization, as well as the 21st Century
Dads Foundation.
“Kids need so much more than just the financial support that a father provides,” Hirsch says. “They need to…be present physically, to be present emotionally and be present spiritually.”
On his mission to encourage fathers, Hirsch authored six books, including “21st Century Dads: A Father’s Journey to Break the Cycle of Father Absence” and five compilations from the SFN “Dad to Dad” podcast.
The podcast has more than 300 episodes so far, each one with a different father talking about personal experiences and challenges covering topics from employment to autism and rare conditions.
Episode 163 features Jim Stovall, founder of the Narrative TV Network and an author and speaker. Stovall is best known for his book “The Ultimate Gift,” which was made into a feature film.
In the episode, Stovall, who is blind, talks about his upbringing, about learning he was going to lose his sight, about his friendship with Ray Charles and his journey to advocacy.
“This is somebody that I’ve admired from a distance for decades and decades, somebody who is just the most amazing role model for so many different people in situations,” Hirsch says.
Other episodes of the podcast tackle hard topics like the loss of a child.
“It’s a parent’s worst nightmare, but you know, it’s reality and, you know, that’s not the club you want to be a part of, but if you find yourself in that situation, there is some comfort in knowing that you’re not alone,” Hirsch says.
SFN provides fathers with inspiration and information. Hirsch notes that while membership is encouraged, some dads just need inspiration or insight on a weekly basis from listening to a podcast or a YouTube video. Some dads might attend one of the weekly meetings for SFN’s MasterMind groups, and some dads just want to tune in to the conferences.
But the original vision of SFN and the network’s primary function is to connect dads to other dads on a more personal level, in a mentor-mentee style program. Today, SFN has more than 700 mentor fathers who provide friendship, advice and community for fathers across 12 countries.
SFN in Baltimore
Ian Todd, a Baltimore father of two, found vital community in the Special Fathers Network. Now, after four and a half years with the organization, he’s lending his advice to fellow dads in tough situations.
Todd and his wife, Erin, have two daughters, Maple (7) and Rosie (5). Shortly after Rosie was born, she was injured as a result of bacterial meningitis.
Because of the infection, Rosie has a global traumatic brain injury cortical visual impairment—an uncommon complication.
Todd says that meeting other fathers from a variety of complex situations who have children with complex needs has helped him to gain perspective on what fatherhood means.
“Being a father, to me, is waking up every day with every breath and making choices that are going to positively impact your family, community and the world around you,” Todd says.
Todd was struggling with Rosie’s condition at the same time that the COVID-19 pandemic reared its head, leaving him isolated. By chance, he found a flier for SFN and an upcoming virtual conference.
“It was the words I needed to hear,” Todd says. “I needed to hear that I wasn’t alone. I needed to hear that there were other fathers like me and that it could be done.”
Today, Todd is part of the Special Fathers Network MasterMind Group, which meets weekly on Wednesdays.
Every month, the group of local dads reads a book on fatherhood and some of the unique challenges fathers can face. During that month, the group discusses the book and makes an effort to meet with the book’s author, according to Todd.
“For dads just starting that journey, keep hope in your heart and everything else will fall into place,” Todd says.
