Many kids head back to school today�if they haven�t already�so as a reward for getting them out the door, read Jenny Rosenstrach�s brilliantly funny letter to her husband (served by �attorneys� Almuerzo & Snaks) to ensure that he will be packing lunches and snacks exactly HALF of the time this school year.
Want the homemade look for your kid's costume, but don't have time to DIY? Pick one of these beautiful costumes, made by Etsy artists. by Lauren Passell
When Kate Gosselin was famously photographed spanking her child a year or so ago, my email inbox was suddenly loaded with "spanking" queries, and now a new study from Tulane University reported in Time magazine has generated a lively discussion on our boards. "I can't help but wonder how much of the aggression is due to spankings or the movies and video games these kids are allowed to see and play," says one member.
The Tulane report showed that, "of the nearly 2,500 children in the study, those spanked more often at age three were more likely to be aggressive by age five.". "Why not spank?" some wonder. It's quick, it's familiar (at least to parents who were themselves spanked as children) and it usually gets kids to stop the offending behavior-at least temporarily. And data shows 70 percent of Americans do spank. So let's get two things straight: First, a swat or two is not going to psychologically damage your kid for life. Nor will a spank cause your little munchkin to become the next Hannibal Lecter. Relax.
The key question is whether spanking is really the best discipline method. Although many parents are unaware of it, continual spanking can have long-term negative effects. Plus it doesn't work that well in stopping bad behaviors. Really. Honest.
Here are ten reasons I'd advise you to consider using another discipline technique other than spanking to curb your kids' bad attitudes or troublesome behaviors:
1. Spanking stops misbehavior momentarily. The bad behavior usually resumes because the kid doesn't know how to act differently.
2. Spanking teaches the child not how to act right, but how not to get caught when the parent is around. He becomes a champion in manipulation.
3. The child is much more likely to remember the punishment than why he was punished. He behaves out of fear instead of because he wants to act right.
4. It teaches that hitting solves problems. Kids must learn acceptable, nonviolent alternatives to solve problems.
5. Spanking teaches children to behave through "external control" (the punishment). It does not teach kids self-control-or "internal control."
6. Spanking sends a huge mixed message: "It's fine for adults to hit, but not kids."
7. Spanking squelches moral growth. It stops kids from misbehaving because they want to avoid punishment (the lowest level of moral development), not because they want to do what is right.
8. Spanking squelches empathy. Empathy-being considerate to another's needs and feelings-is the cornerstone of moral growth. Studies find that children's empathy is diminished when their parents control their kids through anger.
9. Spanking exposes children to violence. Learning comes through example. Spanking is an aggressive act, showing children their parents acting in an out-of-control manner.
10. Spanking doesn't teach new behavior. Spanking teaches not how to behave right, but how to shout, hit, manipulate, and control others through fear. It also fails to teach a critical discipline lesson: "So why should I behave?"
There are many ways to effectively discipline children without resorting to corporal punishment. Withhold privileges, grounding, assign extra chores, require restitute or use time-out are a few options. The important thing is to set the consequence ahead of time, make it fit the crime, and then carry through with it every time your child misbehaves.
The goal of all discipline is to teach your child to take responsibility for his choices-it's part of helping him grow into a healthy, self-reliant and decent human being.
Are your kids hit with a wave of panic on test days? They may get butterflies in their stomachs, or maybe their heads fill with negative thoughts like, "I'm going to flunk," or "I'm so dumb." And when they sit down to actually take the test, their minds go blank.
With today's high-stakes testing, those jitters are affecting even the youngest kids. And make no mistake, test-related anxiety can be costly to their academic success. Here are some ways to help your kids prepare--and stay calm.
It's no secret that kids feel stressed just as often as adults do. At school, on the ball field, and even at home, they face pressure to be the best, or at least never, ever come in last. In a competitive world where it's important to meet the status quo, our kids are feeling the heat in ways that we may never have experienced when we were young.
A recent American Psychological Association survey confirmed that parents not only underestimate their children's stress levels, but may also fail to recognize the impact stress can have on their kids' physical and psychological health. Studies find that eight to ten percent of American kids are seriously troubled by stress and the symptoms associated with it. In fact, kids are now suffering from stress as early as three years old--a shocking reality that's sadly going mostly undetected by parents.
While some of us watched the ball drop in Times Square and set New Years resolutions to lose weight or eat better in 2010, others undoubtedly resolved to be better parents. After all, parenting is the most important role many of us will ever have. But how many of us achieve success and see real changes in our families? And how many of those New Years resolutions are we willing to actually keep?
Here are a few simple, practical resolutions to raise happy, healthy kids this year. Worried about sticking to them? Here's a good tip: Choose only one or two resolutions to increase your chances of success. Then, use the same strategy consistently every day, even for just a few minutes at a time. Your resolutions will become a family routine, and will greatly improve your relationship with your kids. Of course, these ideas are just to get you thinking. Adapt them, or come up with better ones that will work for your family!
Here's a question to ponder as the holidays approach: How well do your kids handle disappointment? If you're worried about what will happen when that greatly-anticipated DVD player from grandma turns out to be a pink cashmere sweater, consider the following scenarios. They will help you assess how your kids may respond:
