Bookworms - December 2009

The Corkums: And they all lived happily ever after

By Kate Marley-Emery
Why would someone want to travel thousands of miles to adopt a child? Perhaps because, 27 years ago, someone else made that trip for her.|
Born in South Korea, Melissa Corkum was only 3 months old when she was adopted by Patti and Harry Dunn. The Dunns subsequently adopted two more children from South Korea, another girl and a boy, and all three grew up in Idlewylde, a leafy neighborhood near Towson.
After graduating from Towson High School, Melissa attended the University of Maryland Baltimore County. There, she met Patrick Corkum.
The couple fell in love, married, and had two children—bright, helpful Patrick Junior, often called PJ for short, and impish, articulate Mia.
Both Patrick and Melissa were interested in adopting, and because of Melissa’s history, South Korea was the first place they looked. And then one day, when Melissa read a flyer about adopting orphans from overseas, she found herself intrigued by one boy’s description. Tae Young was a child with special needs. He was born prematurely and had a slight learning delay.
Something about this child called to her.
Melissa just knew that Tae Yang needed to join her family. And Patrick agreed, even though it would mean a little extra effort on his part.
“I had to lose 20 pounds to be able to adopt,” he recalls.
“Korea has a BMI requirement,” Melissa says, referring to Body Mass Index. “They value health very highly.”

All in the Family
Once Patrick complied with the Korean regulations, he and Melissa moved ahead with the adoption. And in April 2009, they welcomed two 2-and-a-half-year-old Ty—their shortened version of his name—into their extended family in Baldwin in Harford County.
Because, for the Corkums, family means more than just mother, father, and children. Melissa’s parents live with them—not because they have to or because they are sick and need care, but simply because they enjoy living together. By the time Ty joined the family, the Corkums and the Dunns had been sharing a home for four years.
That living arrangement had started years before when the young Corkum family lived with the Dunns while between houses. Everyone got along so well that, when Patrick and Melissa bought a new place, they just continued the arrangement, only in a slightly larger house.
“Most people look at me like I have three heads when I say I live with my in-laws,” Patrick, 31, chuckles.
“I’m a big proponent of extended family,” he continues. “Grandparents play a huge role in that. I think that’s missed a lot in our American culture.”
In fact, both grandmothers traveled with the Corkums to South Korea when they adopted Ty.

Right at Home
While he may not be quite as confident as his brother and sister, Ty moves comfortably through the family. And PJ, 6, and Mia, 4, treat him as just another sibling, alternately teasing and petting him, normal fare for any child who’s the youngest.
The children also demonstrate the lessons they’ve inadvertently picked up from their parents and grandparents.
“Treat people the way you like to be treated!” Mia admonishes PJ when she’s had enough of his teasing.
And PJ does his best to help, without even being asked. He folds up his little brother’s travel crib after a nap and comforts him after a fall.
In their spare time, the Corkums are working with other families to start a local orphan care ministry.
Do they see themselves adopting again?
“We have big hearts for foster care,” says Melissa. “I think, eventually, that could be what we’d like to do.” But, they recognize, right now, such a temporary emotional attachment might prove difficult for their children, who are still so young. In the meantime, they are working with other families to start a local orphan care ministry.
Calm and confident amidst the three young children romping around her, Melissa simply says, “We’ll see where God takes us.” BC

For information about the orphan care ministry, go to www.graftedfamilies.com

© Baltimore’s Child Inc. December 2009.