Focus on Fathers - April 2009
A father’s warning to stop the hurt…
By
Mike Strzelecki
As Mark Hyman watched his teenage son Ben recover from Tommy John surgery, he
entered a period of reflection. He wondered why someone so young, just 15
years of age, should have needed to replace a ligament in his elbow that had
ruptured from throwing too many baseballs—a procedure once the sole
domain of major league pitchers. He questioned what role he, as a parent,
had played in the injury, and whether it could have been prevented. |
Hyman’s ruminations resulted in his new book Until It Hurts: America’s
Obsession with Youth Sports and How It Harms our Kids (Beacon Press, 2009),
a sobering treatise on what’s wrong with youth sports today.
Until it Hurts explores ways our young athletes are being tugged at and
pulled in different directions by various interest groups—parents,
coaches, agents, advocates, and media. It investigates the burden
youngsters are forced to bear just to play a game that’s supposed to be fun. It
serves as a clarion call to parents and coaches to curb the excesses and
exploitations that too often characterize youth sports.
“Many parents are generally aware that youth sports have become more
competitive and intense,” says Hyman. “But there's less appreciation of
the consequences for our kids. Half the sports injuries treated by
pediatricians each year are caused by overuse—doing the same sport or
skill over and over until it hurts. That's a stunning statistic. I
hope this book connects the dots in a way that starts a conversation.”
Hyman is a Baltimore-based sports journalist and father of two. He has
spent 15 years attending practices, games, tournaments, and team parties, and
admittedly used to be “one of those parents” he addresses in his book. Hyman
sets the table for his thesis through interviews with coaches, parents, and
insiders. He moves from the southern California volleyball scene to an
elite soccer team in Chicago to the iconic Little League World Series of
baseball in Pennsylvania. He discusses a range of topics including the
history of youth sports, injuries, Title IX, and steroids.
Wanted: Better Behavior
Hyman uses statistical analysis to substantiate his claims. To show
that parents are too emotionally invested in outcome rather than experience, he
references a 2005 University of Maryland study that found that 53 percent of
parents felt anger to some degree while watching their kids play youth
soccer. To show that kids are aware of this problem, he notes the results
of a Sports Illustrated for Kids
survey in which 74 percent of children reported that they had witnessed adults
behaving poorly at games—most commonly yelling at officials, coaches, and
children.
“Who wants to be subject to that?” Hyman rhetorically asks.
Through anecdotal tales, Hyman highlights absurdities in youth sports. He
tells of the 11-year-old figure skater who, when forced to see a doctor for a knee
injury, revealed she had eight skating coaches. And the 5-year-old Ohio child
who stopped eating and did hard sauna workouts before an upcoming tournament to
drop weight so as to avoid wrestling a particular opponent to whom he had
previously lost. And the University of Michigan wrestler who set a goal of
losing 22 pounds in four days—an effort that proved fatal.
He tells of the Nebraska mother who kicked her 15-year-old daughter out of the
car in Interstate 80 traffic because she had played a bad softball game and the
Pennsylvania father arrested for punching his 11-year-old son after the son
cried during a wrestling match. He describes parents assaulting parents
and parents assaulting umpires as well.
In a true sign of our times, Hyman reveals that the National Association of
Sports Officials, the governing body for umpires, now offers assault insurance
to its members, so that those insured get paid for games lost due to assault
and also receive free legal consultation.
“What lessons do such incidents teach our children?” Hyman asks. “Not that
the umpire is always right, of course. And nothing about good sportsmanship. Instead,
the message is that anything goes—at least until the police arrive to
break things up.”
Hyman presents jaw-dropping court cases as well.
In Rutherford v. Cypress-Fairbanks
Independent School District, parents in the Texas school district sued
when their son, a high school pitcher, was benched for a game for team
misconduct. The court laughed, finding that federal judges issue opinions, not
starting line-ups. In Wellsville-Middleton
School District v. Miles, three Missouri high school basketball players
sued a referee for making a bad call, arguing the referee harmed their chances
of getting a scholarship. In another case, a Pennsylvania softball player
sued her high school coach, arguing he had hurt her chances of earning a college
scholarship by teaching her an incorrect pitching technique.
In refreshingly blunt fashion, Hyman points hardest at parents, as he urges
them to keep their emotions in check and their eyes on the big picture.
“Every time your child steps on a sports field, tell yourself, ‘This isn't
about my dreams and ambitions. I'm here to support my daughter or son,’”
he says. “It sounds obvious. But it's hard to check your aspirations at
the door. I know from experience.”
“As grown-ups, we talk a good game about what we expect from youth sports for
ourselves and our children. If our kids make friends, have fun, and pick
up a few basic skills from their sport, it’s been a good season for them and
us. The reality often is more complicated. Adults rely on youth sports to
feed an array of our emotional needs. The frustrated jocks among us long
to see our progeny succeed on a wrestling mat or diving board, where we never
could. That’s the affirmation that is attached to raising a namesake who
is a standout player. If a child is the most gifted athlete on the block,
it stands to reason she was raised by the most gifted parents.”
But Hyman reasons there is cause for hope. As a society, we can, indeed,
return to the antiquated notion that kids sports are for fun.
“Every parent I've met wanted the best for his or her child,” he says. “That
gives me reason for optimism. If we can make the case that the current system
of ever-more competitive sports is risky for young kids, maybe we can dial down
the intensity and just play for fun.” BC
More information on Until It Hurts and youth sports in general can be found
online, at www.untilithurts.com.
© Baltimore’s Child Inc. April 2009
